Thursday, November 17, 2011

Tutu Thursday


Wow!  It's amazing to think that this journey's beginning is almost at fruition.  Only one more day, and the most important question is still up in the air.

What am I going to wear?

So Kelly has started making herself a tutu.  She convinced me I needed one too, so I'm making mine as well.  It's black and white and fuchsia.  It's really cute.  The only problem is that it makes my overall circumference very large.  VERY large!  The tulle sticks out.  A lot!  I'm going to continue making it, but I am not committed to wearing it.

So, I am still in between freaking out over the Warrior Wall and the mud.  (Ewww mud.  So gross!)  But I am super excited, and so ready for Saturday to be here.  Unfortunately, I have not gotten a single run in this week.  Not one!  It gets dark so early now, and that is part of the problem.

I did lots of push ups last night though.  Well, a few. Okay, five.  But they were good ones.  I made them count.  I held a plank for a minute, and then I did sit ups.  All this confirmed that I need to strength train.  Big time!  I should be much further along by now, and this is what upsets me the most.  I've wasted my time.  And I've known it.  I can go back and read what I've written here, and I've known it.  I just didn't change my routine.  So any wall or obstacle that requires upper-body strength that I struggle with is going to be my own fault. 

But, I'm going to give it my all, because that is what warriors do.

I went to Zumba tonight.  So much fun.  And then Diah called me to the front of the class for one of the songs.  I've never been on the instruction side of a class, and it was very different.  First of all, I think I was backwards on every move.  Second, it's different not having the mirror.  Even if you're not looking at it, it's there.  Last, I guess part of me doesn't really care what people think, because I didn't change anything I normally do.  I was just having fun.

So why can't that transfer over to this tutu?  I just don't know.  I don't think I want to know what I look like in the tutu.  I think it would be fun to wear.  I really do.  I think I would feel really silly and cute.  But the mean girls in my head are loud.

Then I think about people like Daniel.  Daniel at the running store who was rude to me.  Daniel who looked at me like there was no way I earned the 13.1 sticker that I wanted to buy.   I know there are lots of Daniels out there.  They may even be on the Warrior Dash course.  They may think I don't belong there, and they may say mean things to me.  They are out there.  They always will be along with the mean girls in my head.  And as awful as they are, I'm willing to fight them off.  It is a battle.  But it's a battle worth fighting, and I hope I'm on the winning side more often than not.  I guess we'll see soon enough if the tutu is a casualty or this war or a victor! 

I'm hoping for victor!

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